Note To Self

Life: Eternal

Love: Mortal

Endless like the darkness of the universe,

Joyous like a boat floating in the blue sea,

Motherly embrace grips with undying affection,

Abrupt like sunlight with it’s seductive warmth,

A scroll with words written in the sky

Yet this is what we hope for!

Beauty: Deception

Heart: Veracity

Like an egg it hatches,

Untouched like the beauty of the heavens.

As the sun shall set so will the futile perfection,

But a day will come were soul will embrace redemption.

Beneath the sand lays a dyke where no plant may grow.

Until that day, my thumping heart will have no cause to beat.

Sorry life but I have lost my faith in love!

Valley of Woes

Don't ask me why I have become this, this heartless man!?

For I have died a thousands times,

Cried tears that would fill the Nile

And embraced the pain inside like a charm of the darkness,

This life has seen me toll in the sorrows beneath my eternal...

soiled through the smog and forsaken by the sun's warmth

My cause has seen better days,

My heart has been filled with better emotions,

My smile now stretches with the hurt of pretence.

I've lived a million times

Through died in each day I have lived,

What's in a heart when it's pulse is faint without cause to be?

When the dark embrace grips it's bitter claws on you, you'll understand

Why each day is a laborious struggle.

The indignity, the defeat, the culmination of this spoil is overwhelming.  

Tainted Soul

As night breaks,

My life begins to crumble

And all hope fades to dust,

I knock on heavens door

Hoping for hells angel to ease my sorrow,

Now and forever I hope she comes tomorrow.

Thoughts far beyond this life

Encroach my mind, its shadow I must follow.

My dead heart beats thump,

Life's promise will never reign,

Deep breaths relinquish this mindless cancer,

Like fallen hail, my heart has sunken

Beneath this heathen soil,

Spoiled with grief this life's bliss

Is tainted with the solemness of days.

The hell raiser sees his rise

As the blade divides my torsal,

The warmth of my scarlet rinse

Is forever lost, like death life is forever lost,

And I am too.

Dawn of Meaninglessness

One by one
My acid tears fall,
Like hail they fall,
Who told the night to kill?
Lifeless veins of lost time
Steal the verve to breathe,
Without meaning it takes life.

Blood on my mind,
Fear on the floor,
This sorrow is my own,
It pours out leaving chills
And a void of torment,
For the life that once was,
For the child that once cried
Time has burnt her heart
And eaten her memories...
Without cause it kills.

The promise to reminisce
On the bright days we touched,
The young life you lived,
You sit crying on the shoulder
Of the angel with dark wings.
Forsaken by life,
Treasured by strife,
Mothered by this knife,
Yet loved by grief.

Still darkness rises
Like dew its stab will die,
Eternal silence befalls,
Sleep my fallen child,
Dream like a nightingale
And hold still your heart
In this silent gale of dead
And forsaken emotions.

One day...
Your heart will beat,
Like before your eyes
Will dry and bare witness
To the beauty of yore,
The ache of your soul
Will seal with a life unbroken.

Futile Beauty!

When the moon slept,
We wept more,
I wept endlessly,
Even the sun does not have a beauty as her’s,
Her voice mistaken by many for a fine harp’s tune,
Your body admired by all the men in the streets,
A mind only loved by me; the victim of your heart’s numbness.
Your heart cold as steel stole the only warmth I have.
My pride, my wife, and my soul you were in my dreams.

When your eyes closed never to open again
I wept more,
More than everyone you knew
The most expensive jewels cannot match her beauty,
No woman can weigh against the splendor she held;
Her slender hips,
Her luscious lips,
Her immensely proportional body:
Is the pride of a mindless woman!
She was such.

To die in your heart I wished
Tomorrow's promise broke
Today’s misery is all you left
And I kept my heart broken when you lost you.
Unlike the diamonds she wore, her beauty is mortal
Her mind tainted by the wounds of self,
My morn remains unheard at your funeral,
My tears are unnoticed in this rain you’ve left me in,
A hollow heart you had,
A soulless body you carried,
Now I wonder what I saw in you!
Was I blinded by your senseless figuring?

Irksome Emotion Device

Its irritating beats
Disturb my sleep...
Without reason it beats,
Like a silent drum, it beats.
Day by day it thumps
And I, a man gives birth to new passion
Whenever I see a queen of
Human splendor, it beats more
And more till I can no longer hide
Its orders that make me man.
Is it my weakness to dance
To the rhythm of its beats?
To my displeasure it beats
And brings me to my knees,
It cries without tears!
It loves that which I hate!
It lives where I don’t belong!
It breathes as I do!
Its weakness is my shame,
Its creed I shall wash in my blood.
When darkness falls...
It is the reason for my black tears,
It is all that I would never wish for
And I’d bestow my soul to exorcise
It from my heathen torso!

Why She Cries

Why do you cry?
Is it the sun?
Did it hurt you?
Is it the rain?
Did it wash your beauty away?
Did the angels forsake you?
Did the night steal your name?
Why do you cry?

Does your heart ache when it beats?
Is it beyond your will to conquer your misery?
Who is to blame for your sadness?
Is it as hard as diamond to tame?
Why won’t you let me cure your soreness?
Why does your heart beat without cause?
Why do you always cry?

Gone is the joy your soul once held
A wound that will grow till infinity
Is all that you’ll ever have...
I wish I can embrace your sorrow as my own,
But my heart belongs to another.
Is this why you cry?

Ashamed of The Sun

A straw into a mind of an awesome summer wonder
Is all my soul seeks in the light of day,
Upon thy shiny skin, it ashen thy sight;
I see not its splendor.

Beaming its odium upon thy mortal soul...
To rise above its fright and kill its core
Is to free yourself from the hands of pain,
Again hearts it shall turn into stone,
Eyes shall drain in its radiance
And souls shall know no love for day.

A fight brought upon by the gods;
A battle between moon and sun will bear more
Sorrow and give birth to no tomorrow,
Galaxies from beyond our own will witness
The age of lifelessness...
The hearts of us will cast not tears to quench
The fire that burns when the victor takes his stand.

Without fear we shall be
Stronger without the sun,
We shall embrace this darkness
Like our child who brings mother to smile...
It shall be,
Man will seek his soul beneath
The ashes of the defeated moon,
His voice beyond the stars,
And his mind in the belief
He holds dearest...

A smoldering kiss shall fall
And all known life shall stall
With the venom of its gall,
Man will question the heaven's wall,
The weak shall fall in this war
And blood will spill in the sacred sand.
Sunlight will bear no life, no hope and harmony.

Sunken by its forsaken madness thy crust shall
Thaw in its fury rays of sheer terror,
I shame the sun that took our name!
I blame the sun that toots till my ears bleed!
Forever I'll lust for the sun that knows love for me!

A Gory Enchantment

With death before my eyes
I sigh and hope it falls now,
This blood in the snow
Has been shed to relinquish
This hopeless devotion.
The darkness will embrace
My lust to burn in its kill.

A gory stain escapes
From my mind…these weeps
Will bear no delight.
Veins pumping man’s iniquity
Pours more fury in the heart
I once had…
Winds blown by the dead
Dry the gruesome fears
Of life’s long and dark trail.

With this disgraceful odium
Of a life gone wrong
I know I’ll die alone:
Grace will forget my face,
Death will give me one
And pain will offer me its
Promise of the twilight.
I’ll be forgotten by grace
And remembered by wickedness
With all its shame of night.

In this dungeon of spikes
I’ll bleed to slay
My inner desires
To end this thick carnage
My tongue only knows blood
My mind only sees tenderness
Nothing seems right
Here in the fortress of evil
The sovereign of the underworld
Speaks through my bleeding ears.
A heart charred by life’s
Deceptive nature
Will beat with the rhythm of
The dying flurry owl’s howl.

Doused in its spiral wrath
I cannot flee from this confusing supremacy,
My skin melts with this gruesome embrace,
Tonight I’ll feast upon the flesh of this eve,
As daylight stalls this wretchedness
The cracks of my mind smolder
The last bit of breath my soul had…

Embracing Death’s Woes

Frozen inside still I
Bleed from your broken kiss,
A touch of ice embraces me
With a soaring sting of
An eternal affliction,
This forsaken truth
You’ve embraced charges
With a rage of lifelessness,
I ‘m left powerless
With the tears that are
The fragments of my soul;
My fortitude is forever gone.

When love stands still
Life is lost and grief is gained
When a man cries,
It’s all because it hurts
His soul’s core to touch
A love he once had,
His tears will force the
Sunflower face towards
The moonshine
Her voice will be captive of
The ocean’s pressure
And she’ll die like the waves
Of her emotions…

This immortal emptiness
Nurtures its ruins when night
Overcame life’s splendor
And every endeavor
I took to keep us away
From sorrow’s claws…
In this endless soreness
Bore our futile child.
These Hallow feelings
Will be my only foe.

These tears cannot reveal
My angst of numbness
That took me captive
When your life was denied:
My will to be departed with you,
This shame of life pierced through
My hopes like a lance of knights
And stole my lone essence,
Now I’ve got to face
This war of woes on my on.

The Whispering Pain

A love victimized by the fury of

The darkness splits it into broken

Hearts and takes victor as it

Releases its venom at them,

Their minds turn into stone as they

Resist the pain that lays

Beneath their shattered realm

They once cherished.

Tears

Eyes drenched in its sadness

Bare this strain of madness,

Before and after this darkness,

The tears of terror and shadiness

Fall to relinquish these cries of sulkiness,

These tears are my weakness…

The drain of strength

Is a gain to death,

Again I rest this sorrow's truth

In the lantern's path,

Eyes see only a wrath

Of an unholy faith,

A union of fear and an oath,

To moan when life bequeaths

Souls of the broken seethe,

Their unsoiled taste...

Like dew it all wastes

Away from eyes so fast

All grief flows in haste

Through them reality becomes fate

That one must not hate

Tears to quench this wait

Tears to break a quest to feast

Eyes drowned in its fall

Like the rain it calls

A name known to all

In the earth it stalls

All happiness as silence befalls.

Endless Hope

If I should take my life

Through this great strife,

I’ll pray for my wife

That God should keep her safe.

If I should die in my sleep

I hope you won’t weep,

Let your emotions sweep

Through like a fall into the deep

Where I lay in my mortal sleep.

If the moon doesn’t shine,

Don’t worry for you are still mine,

Together we taste like sweet wine

Whenever we dine

In this fine night’s divine vine.

If last night’s kiss was the last,

Know that in me the lust

We share will always come first,

I’ll be that knight who clinches his fist

When they come to scrap your heart’s crust,

Then we’ll feast.

If the sun is out and I’m not home

Be strong, tomorrow I’ll come

Like the rain to tame this mortal storm,

But tomorrow can only be told by time

So I ask you to melt this rime.

If my heart stops beating tonight

Teach me how to fight

And make me right.

Bring to me your light,

I ask for you to hold me tight.

Broken Emotions

These cracks on my skin are the sores
Of your broken kisses,
My numb emotions are the scars you left
Behind,

I walk following the blood trail of my mind,
My crimson tainted thoughts speak the pain
I now call home,

Look into my eyes?
Do you see what I’ve become?
I look in the mirror and hate what I’ve
Turned into.

Cry for me so that I quench
My thirst with your pure tears,
Let the rain come and wash away my pain,
Embrace this lachrymal to heal me again,
Without you this isn’t who I want to be.

The Truth

It is not what you think it is

It is that which you speak

And all that they seek,

A hiss with a kiss

Is all that the truth has.

Today flowers will die with his loss

Is this the truth?

It is the reason for your being here,

It is a slalom road to home,

Someday I’ll come

And take us away from this lame

Consign of oblivion.

Every word,

Every step,

Every breathe

You take are all in

The name of the truth.

Empathy thumps with a passion

But we choose not to see it.

In the quest of seeking truth

You lose me and I lose you.

We all are too close for

Time to separate us.

It is there for us to hold

It is that which the blind can see,

It is beneath every sorrowful face

It is in the terror of mankind

The reason for any war

Are the woes that man

Can live without…

These sins are the inner reflections

Of the demons in everyone.

I ask for the truth

And again you’ll tell me

What you want to hear.

No More

A thousand times my pain has slayed me,
A million times I’ve lost me,
A hundred years I’ve lived trying to be you,
In you I saw a new me, a man of lost cause.
No more pain
No more hurting.
It all ends tonight,
On this cliff of where the gods rest,
I’ll end it all.

Last night I died in my dreams
It is a freedom granted by the angel
Of pain.
As I ask for God to send me an angel,
I also beg to breathe my last.
As I walk this walk of twinges,
I beseech to love on more soul.
No more me
No more tears
No more fear

As I look above for answers…
I lose this fight for to be free,
Free from all known iniquity
And other vices of Satan.
As I close my eyes,
I pray you too won’t sleep tonight.
Let not the gory glory take me away,
Let your will be done my lord.
No more…
No more…

Unloved

 A nymph though she is the mirrors

In her mind reflect that which shes not,

A feud between love and hate resides

In her emotionless mind as she sits

Thinking what they all hate.

Out of body and out of mind

Her sorrow leaves her faceless…

They were all too busy for her…

She couldn't take it anymore…

The deception was too overwhelming,

She had to do it…

They cant believe what she did,

She’s not hurting anymore.