If I Close My Eyes

Look above where the angels dwell?

If I close my eyes, will I be there with them?

Will I touch the stars if I hold on to what I have?

Lost and found within myself,

If I close my eyes, will my tears bring any sense?

When will it all come to pass?

Shadows of what is…

Is all that is left, if I close my eyes will you close yours?

Will your heart beat as mine does forever?

Inspired by a song I love "Close My Eyes Forever".
Exploring my own mortality, what if I don't wake up tomorrow? 

Robin

High tides, vicious gales tell the tale,

Her story of glum sunsets and moon rises,

Her little wings hurt as she glides in a world,

A world she dreads where everything in it remind her to frown.

Slow gashes of nothingness bestow the unknown,

Her long and unchaining days bring her to a weep,

For her weak perches beg to be heard…

But the storm hushes her cries…she weeps, she weeps.

Silently her world wonders where she is.

Must the world be so cruel that she cannot see her hurting?

A fight within brings a flight to the abyss

Eyes open, eyes closed darkness all around

A thick smog of lifelessness is all that there is

More and more she sinks in what she fears,

Her heart beats yet she cannot feel.

A call, a hint that there’s a way roars,

Suddenly she can feel the thumps from her big heart,

Eyes open, flowers and a walkway appear,

There she is whole again like an embryo

Pure of the cold of this world,

Embraced by the allure of a smothering scent

She smiles, the glitz of her eyes reflect the uncut woman she is.  

For Sista Moe...

Note To Self

Life: Eternal

Love: Mortal

Endless like the darkness of the universe,

Joyous like a boat floating in the blue sea,

Motherly embrace grips with undying affection,

Abrupt like sunlight with it’s seductive warmth,

A scroll with words written in the sky

Yet this is what we hope for!

Beauty: Deception

Heart: Veracity

Like an egg it hatches,

Untouched like the beauty of the heavens.

As the sun shall set so will the futile perfection,

But a day will come were soul will embrace redemption.

Beneath the sand lays a dyke where no plant may grow.

Until that day, my thumping heart will have no cause to beat.

Sorry life but I have lost my faith in love!

Valley of Woes

Don't ask me why I have become this, this heartless man!?

For I have died a thousands times,

Cried tears that would fill the Nile

And embraced the pain inside like a charm of the darkness,

This life has seen me toll in the sorrows beneath my eternal...

soiled through the smog and forsaken by the sun's warmth

My cause has seen better days,

My heart has been filled with better emotions,

My smile now stretches with the hurt of pretence.

I've lived a million times

Through died in each day I have lived,

What's in a heart when it's pulse is faint without cause to be?

When the dark embrace grips it's bitter claws on you, you'll understand

Why each day is a laborious struggle.

The indignity, the defeat, the culmination of this spoil is overwhelming.  

Ye Hath Kyllen Thy Heorte

Thou hath stolen something,

A measure of thy own goodness,

A sight to remember, like a rainbow thou beeth,

Pierced with magnificence and a heart to follow,

Lost in thy presence, I beseek to be in the warmth of thy hands.

If forever I be denied from the kiss of your tender lips,

Thy shall bleed with a sorrow so deep no leech my heal,

Thy solemn wounds shall moralise thy dimness...

I summon the heavens to take me home.

My Face

My face is all they see, 

They stare and wonder not much,
They see me kind...
And hopeful and everything they want to see.

Sometimes the mirror lies,
My face is a divisive tool that fools,
It has a story, not a neat one but it tells who I am,
My face is not fine yet you look and judge
And fit me in your own little image!

My face is a coincidence,
A yinyang of both good and bad,
I look at it but I fail to see me,
Like the shores of an ocean it changes and loses shape.
But it doesn't change who I am inside...
My face is false and may have no grace,
It may not even hold pride for the person I am.

Sometimes it is as sunken as the stones beneath the waters,
Sometimes it is as high as the clouds and I like it then,
Sometimes it wonders between the line of what makes me me,
Yet through all this, I know that I am who I think I am.

Irksome Emotion Device

Its irritating beats
Disturb my sleep...
Without reason it beats,
Like a silent drum, it beats.
Day by day it thumps
And I, a man gives birth to new passion
Whenever I see a queen of
Human splendor, it beats more
And more till I can no longer hide
Its orders that make me man.
Is it my weakness to dance
To the rhythm of its beats?
To my displeasure it beats
And brings me to my knees,
It cries without tears!
It loves that which I hate!
It lives where I don’t belong!
It breathes as I do!
Its weakness is my shame,
Its creed I shall wash in my blood.
When darkness falls...
It is the reason for my black tears,
It is all that I would never wish for
And I’d bestow my soul to exorcise
It from my heathen torso!

Why She Cries

Why do you cry?
Is it the sun?
Did it hurt you?
Is it the rain?
Did it wash your beauty away?
Did the angels forsake you?
Did the night steal your name?
Why do you cry?

Does your heart ache when it beats?
Is it beyond your will to conquer your misery?
Who is to blame for your sadness?
Is it as hard as diamond to tame?
Why won’t you let me cure your soreness?
Why does your heart beat without cause?
Why do you always cry?

Gone is the joy your soul once held
A wound that will grow till infinity
Is all that you’ll ever have...
I wish I can embrace your sorrow as my own,
But my heart belongs to another.
Is this why you cry?

A Gory Enchantment

With death before my eyes
I sigh and hope it falls now,
This blood in the snow
Has been shed to relinquish
This hopeless devotion.
The darkness will embrace
My lust to burn in its kill.

A gory stain escapes
From my mind…these weeps
Will bear no delight.
Veins pumping man’s iniquity
Pours more fury in the heart
I once had…
Winds blown by the dead
Dry the gruesome fears
Of life’s long and dark trail.

With this disgraceful odium
Of a life gone wrong
I know I’ll die alone:
Grace will forget my face,
Death will give me one
And pain will offer me its
Promise of the twilight.
I’ll be forgotten by grace
And remembered by wickedness
With all its shame of night.

In this dungeon of spikes
I’ll bleed to slay
My inner desires
To end this thick carnage
My tongue only knows blood
My mind only sees tenderness
Nothing seems right
Here in the fortress of evil
The sovereign of the underworld
Speaks through my bleeding ears.
A heart charred by life’s
Deceptive nature
Will beat with the rhythm of
The dying flurry owl’s howl.

Doused in its spiral wrath
I cannot flee from this confusing supremacy,
My skin melts with this gruesome embrace,
Tonight I’ll feast upon the flesh of this eve,
As daylight stalls this wretchedness
The cracks of my mind smolder
The last bit of breath my soul had…

Embracing Death’s Woes

Frozen inside still I
Bleed from your broken kiss,
A touch of ice embraces me
With a soaring sting of
An eternal affliction,
This forsaken truth
You’ve embraced charges
With a rage of lifelessness,
I ‘m left powerless
With the tears that are
The fragments of my soul;
My fortitude is forever gone.

When love stands still
Life is lost and grief is gained
When a man cries,
It’s all because it hurts
His soul’s core to touch
A love he once had,
His tears will force the
Sunflower face towards
The moonshine
Her voice will be captive of
The ocean’s pressure
And she’ll die like the waves
Of her emotions…

This immortal emptiness
Nurtures its ruins when night
Overcame life’s splendor
And every endeavor
I took to keep us away
From sorrow’s claws…
In this endless soreness
Bore our futile child.
These Hallow feelings
Will be my only foe.

These tears cannot reveal
My angst of numbness
That took me captive
When your life was denied:
My will to be departed with you,
This shame of life pierced through
My hopes like a lance of knights
And stole my lone essence,
Now I’ve got to face
This war of woes on my on.

Dear Life

Dear life,
You lied,
You said you’ll never leave me alone,
You said pain will never touch me again,
Now look at the wounds of your making,
Because of you I can’t feel my heart,
Here I’m breathing this hopeless fate
What have you done to me?

Your eyes seemed so pure,
So right,
So persuasive,
Yet you fooled me,
You promised I had a little
More of you to last me till
I need no more of you,
How did I let you do this to me?

Your gipsy crystal ball
Bares a façade of my betrayed future,
I was shallow to fall for your hallow
Lies of a life I will never have…
Not a chance to say goodbye
Not a last glance at my wife,
Like the sirocco, you showed no mercy.

"I dedicate this to a late friend." 

The Whispering Pain

A love victimized by the fury of

The darkness splits it into broken

Hearts and takes victor as it

Releases its venom at them,

Their minds turn into stone as they

Resist the pain that lays

Beneath their shattered realm

They once cherished.

Tears

Eyes drenched in its sadness

Bare this strain of madness,

Before and after this darkness,

The tears of terror and shadiness

Fall to relinquish these cries of sulkiness,

These tears are my weakness…

The drain of strength

Is a gain to death,

Again I rest this sorrow's truth

In the lantern's path,

Eyes see only a wrath

Of an unholy faith,

A union of fear and an oath,

To moan when life bequeaths

Souls of the broken seethe,

Their unsoiled taste...

Like dew it all wastes

Away from eyes so fast

All grief flows in haste

Through them reality becomes fate

That one must not hate

Tears to quench this wait

Tears to break a quest to feast

Eyes drowned in its fall

Like the rain it calls

A name known to all

In the earth it stalls

All happiness as silence befalls.

Endless Hope

If I should take my life

Through this great strife,

I’ll pray for my wife

That God should keep her safe.

If I should die in my sleep

I hope you won’t weep,

Let your emotions sweep

Through like a fall into the deep

Where I lay in my mortal sleep.

If the moon doesn’t shine,

Don’t worry for you are still mine,

Together we taste like sweet wine

Whenever we dine

In this fine night’s divine vine.

If last night’s kiss was the last,

Know that in me the lust

We share will always come first,

I’ll be that knight who clinches his fist

When they come to scrap your heart’s crust,

Then we’ll feast.

If the sun is out and I’m not home

Be strong, tomorrow I’ll come

Like the rain to tame this mortal storm,

But tomorrow can only be told by time

So I ask you to melt this rime.

If my heart stops beating tonight

Teach me how to fight

And make me right.

Bring to me your light,

I ask for you to hold me tight.

Silent Echoes

In the night she dies,

In her mind she dies,

She watches the other

Children play...Her only

Game is the agony of being alone,

Her only home is the pain that

Mauls her mind.

She begs to be loved but they all

Walk away as heart bleeds from

The solitude of their making,

All She wanted was to be loved

Like every other child she knows,

In the rain she feels the pain

Of the coldness and hunger.

Fear befriends her as night falls,

She sleeps alone where no one knows

Her,She dies alive as she walks the

Streets all by her lonely.

Broken Emotions

These cracks on my skin are the sores
Of your broken kisses,
My numb emotions are the scars you left
Behind,

I walk following the blood trail of my mind,
My crimson tainted thoughts speak the pain
I now call home,

Look into my eyes?
Do you see what I’ve become?
I look in the mirror and hate what I’ve
Turned into.

Cry for me so that I quench
My thirst with your pure tears,
Let the rain come and wash away my pain,
Embrace this lachrymal to heal me again,
Without you this isn’t who I want to be.

The Truth

It is not what you think it is

It is that which you speak

And all that they seek,

A hiss with a kiss

Is all that the truth has.

Today flowers will die with his loss

Is this the truth?

It is the reason for your being here,

It is a slalom road to home,

Someday I’ll come

And take us away from this lame

Consign of oblivion.

Every word,

Every step,

Every breathe

You take are all in

The name of the truth.

Empathy thumps with a passion

But we choose not to see it.

In the quest of seeking truth

You lose me and I lose you.

We all are too close for

Time to separate us.

It is there for us to hold

It is that which the blind can see,

It is beneath every sorrowful face

It is in the terror of mankind

The reason for any war

Are the woes that man

Can live without…

These sins are the inner reflections

Of the demons in everyone.

I ask for the truth

And again you’ll tell me

What you want to hear.

No More

A thousand times my pain has slayed me,
A million times I’ve lost me,
A hundred years I’ve lived trying to be you,
In you I saw a new me, a man of lost cause.
No more pain
No more hurting.
It all ends tonight,
On this cliff of where the gods rest,
I’ll end it all.

Last night I died in my dreams
It is a freedom granted by the angel
Of pain.
As I ask for God to send me an angel,
I also beg to breathe my last.
As I walk this walk of twinges,
I beseech to love on more soul.
No more me
No more tears
No more fear

As I look above for answers…
I lose this fight for to be free,
Free from all known iniquity
And other vices of Satan.
As I close my eyes,
I pray you too won’t sleep tonight.
Let not the gory glory take me away,
Let your will be done my lord.
No more…
No more…

An Ingress To Death Lurks

Twinkling eyes of a lost boy

Stare fiercely in the dark,

Like a shadow of the night

He silently craws

To the depth of fear, the only mother

He has ever known.

The tears in his eyes are the consequence

Of his ghastly fate…

Each day his virtuousness is slain before

The ogling souls.

Like a trapped soul he remains tormented

By the thoughts of the sun he never saw,

His sorrow takes a human voice

His soul wastes away as

They watch his void grow.

Sun dries his tears as he looks to

The same sky we all lay under,

The lantern lite streets

He calls home bare a cheerless

Fate that sees him day by day.

Arising from his sinister destiny

A rose he holds cuts his skin,

The truth cleaves to burn his face again,

“Cry no more my child,

Bleed not in vain.”

His slit wrists lead him

To a domicile where

He hurts no more.

The Little Devil In Me

Again I wake up away from home

Like a lost soul I shriek for reality

To undo this obvious confusion,

I walk on a street paved with skulls and bones,

The road is covered by a steady flow of blood

Amid flesh and skin.

”Who did this?”

The little voice in me questions.

The crimson rain, the pain only gains more

Affliction to my already dented soul,

Now I sit with my head on the railway line

Waiting for the beast that craws there to come and steal

This mistake for a life I hate to live.

Another heart bleeds, another mother moans,

Another day of sheer destruction befalls us.

How did I become this…this unfeeling animal?

Somewhere in this human shell,

I find myself lost deep inside me.

At night, the little voice in me tells me to take lives:

To separate body and soul of they that are pure at

Heart, she tells me to kill again and again.

I now know why I wake up with blood in my hands.